Introduction: Need to grow in the Lord. Illustration: After you have won the battle. You are being introduced to your president or chief and each one’s medal is hanging for the good deeds he/she did. Every soldier is applauded for the number of medals. Even though a guy with just one medal is appreciated this guy would feel so awkward in front of a president. Working for the same needed a disciplined life.

Illustration: recently an Indian athlete who won the record (Guinness). He said,  “persistence and encouragement key to success”.

I. God - creator of relationships.
Relationships; Some examples.

God is concerned of relationships. God is the sustainer of relationships. That is why He said, where two or three gathered in my Name, I would be in your midst. Not only He will be in our midst but also will grant whatever was asked in oneness.
 
Matthew 18:19-20 - "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." How do we know this?
1.    In creation (Genesis 2:18, 20 – The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him). Verse 20; “But for Adam no suitable helper was found”).

2.    To accomplish His purposes.

a.    To deliver Israelites He provided Aaron to Moses (Exodus 4: 14-15). Signs for Moses.
b.    To establish David as a king of Israel - Jonathan & David: “he loved him as he loved himself” (I Samuel 18: 1, 3; I Samuel 20:17); “Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD” (I Samuel 20:41).

3.    In fact, to reestablish the relationship of men with Him, God gave Jesus Christ to die in the cross. 1 John 4: 9-11

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son  into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another".

4.    Cross is the symbol of relationships (Mark 12:28-31).

5.    On the cross, Jesus connects Mary and John.(John 19:25-27).

II. God – creator of Friendships

1. God created friendships and He wants us to be wise in choosing our friends. Good friendships are blessings, and God uses them to build us up and keep us strong. It is very important that we take great care in both being great friends and having great friends.

2. Friendship is a unique relationship
a.    Father – Son; Friend – Friend only; meaning it is always mutual.
b.    To elder / younger distinguishing.
c.    No gender differences
d.    In friendship no life-long relationships like other relationships
e.    A Father/Mother could be treated as a friend but not necessarily a friend be considered as a Father/Mother.

3. The basic concept of friendship varies according to the type of people and their expectations.
 
     To the people who are unbelievers or worldly nature, friendship means choosing a friend that has approximately the same attitudes, or same age, or social rank, or certain aspect of behavior.

     To the person who is a Christian and a believer, a friend should be a person whose aim is salvation, and so the two friends encourage and support and build each other.


4. Generally there could be three types of friendships:
1.    General Acquaintances: work place, school etc.,

2.    Evil or Harmful friendships: This could be a friend who wants to take always rather than give. May give a wrong advice. May led you to do things that your conscience knows is wrong and may pressurize to do things that you don’t want to do. How strong you are to lead him/her to repentance or will you eventually follow him/her?

3.    The third type is Faithful or True friendship that is what we will focus today.

4.    The second commandment in Mark 12: 28-31, talks about friendships. “There is no commandment greater than this” the Lord said. What we can focus is to see how to make our friendships the best that they can be.

Some friendship related questions to ponder upon:

* What would make an ideal friend? What qualities one would look for in an ideal friend?
Loving, Caring, Respect, Loyal, Listens, Sacrifice.

* Who do we know who posses these qualities? – Jesus. He is our best friend and a perfect example.

* What can we learn from Jesus in the matters related to friendships?

6. General Characteristics of God-given relationships or friendships:
a. True-friendships will make friends and be a blessing to each other.

As Christians we have to make and choose our friends through prayer.
Proverbs 12:26 – “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray”.
How to choose our friends?
a.    Obviously, you have to like your friends’ sense of love and caring (David & Jonathan).
b.    A true friend should have the listed Christian attributes: loving, caring, kind, good and self-control.
c.    A true friend should love God and other people. He should maintain and care for both vertical and horizontal relationshships
d.    A friend should have similar interests, and should have some sort of conformity between one another.

b. True-friendships will trust God for genuine relationships and move towards a quality relationship

To have a great friendship, we need to preserve the friendship.
 
Illustration: You have lighted a candle now you need to take effort to cover using your hands to protect it from put off. You have not lighted a match stick. It will be gone even you protect it.

a.    Friendship should be free from opportunism and selfishness. It should be based on sacrifice and self-sacrifice.
Eg., Jesus. John 15:13.

b.    Friendship should entrain mutual respect. A friend should be a good listener, with open ear at all the time and be a good counselor.

c.    Proverbs 27:9 – Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest friend.

d.    Friendship should be centered on Christ, and the aim of this friendship should be Salvation. Hebrews 10:24-25.

e.    Be loyal to a friend and defend your friend in their absences, and do not gossip about them. Nothing shows a good friend better than when someone defends a friend, even when they are not there. And never ever talk behind a friend’s back.

Proverbs 18:24 – “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”.

c. True-friendships will offer support into friendships

Illustration: When we make candles, we pour wax into a mold. The mold supports and holds wax until it has cooled and become firm. Once the wax is hard, the candle can stand by itself. If we were to remove the candle before it is hard, it would fall apart.

In the same way we need to support our friends and help them when have a need and a need for a good friend.

Romans 12:15- “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep”
Eccl 4:9-10 - Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Example: Story of the paralyzed person [Mark 2:1-12]. His friends brought him to Jesus through the roof and saw Jesus healed the man. The four friends knew the need of the paralyzed man. We too should support our friends and be “stretch bearers” and bring the needs of our friends to Jesus in prayer.

d. True-friendships will reconcile with the broken relationships as quick as possible.

1.    First acknowledge that as a Christian that there is a need for the friendship to mended or reconciled: Realize that there is a problem and need to be corrected by His help.

2.    Pray for God’s guidance in that situation and ask Him how to approach the problem.

3.    Examine our own hearts and evaluate honestly if we are a part of the problem. If it is so see forgiveness.

4.    Take a first step always – There is a reward to the first step taker from the Lord.

5.    Conflict Management – The Christian fellowship way.

Your responsibility to your brother/sister when YOU HAVE OFFENDED HIM/HER (Mathew 5:22-24) – Go ahead for reconciliation.
Your responsibility to your brother/sister when YOU HAVE BEEN OFFENDED BY HIM/HER (Mathew 18:15, 35) – Go ahead & show his fault & forgive him.“Christians can honestly share their lives. You don’t have to pretend to be something you are not”

Matt 5:9: Blessed are peace makers, For they shall be called sons of God

III. Conclusion
1.    Remember that friendship can be a blessing in our lives. Our friends are important. Take care in choosing them, and keeping them.

2.    Remember that Christ also longs to be our Friend. If we have Christ as our friend, having Christ-like friends in our lives will come naturally.

3.    We should be united with our friends, through Christ.

4.    Realize that Satan is doing his best to ruin Christ-based relationships.

5.    We must agree to disagree in disputable things. Example: If your friend says that he saw a rabbit with 3 legs and argues…simply do not argue but agree to disagree. Just say that may be he might have seen a rabbit that had some genetic disorders.

6.    Be insensitive to sensitive issues and be sensitive to insensitive needs. Illustration: Snake in the pavement and your friend did not notice it. Be quick to warn him.

7.    Do not be jealous because your friend is more helpful to others or others help your friend more. (Envy rots the bones – Proverbs 14:30).

8.    Eliminate assumptions or taken for granted attitude. Always give benefit of doubt to others.

9.    Never trust your friendship for meeting your needs. Only TRUST God. After all every one has their (own) limitations.

10.    Believe that God has given that person in your life and not mere accidental. Keep moving you life till God make changes in your life situations. You do not make changes.

11.    Be involved in life events of your friends. God has a purpose in intersecting him in your life path.

12.    Always compliment your friend for good things he has done to your spouses and appreciate and share problems and pray together.

13.    Try with your best ability (if God prompts you to do and have time and ability) to help meet your friend’s needs and not wants. Illustration of a Chinese proverb. “Teach a Man how to fish instead of constantly supplying him fishes”.

14.    Never ever focus on the negative but just be thankful for what your friend is and the positive aspects (graphical illustration).

15.    Christ should be our focus and a true friend.